The fear of missing out is hurting youth sport

No one gets a day off, ever

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

My first attempt at describing the fear of missing out (FOMO) in youth sport—yes, it's a real thing—was written several years before I launched my Substack, so it got practically no attention. I believe this heavily rewritten version will strike a chord, especially among long-time practitioners and families who may be feeling overwhelmed with their youth sport experience. My thoughts and examples come from swimming but I'm sure FOMO is, in some way, part of every youth sport program.

The professional sports model has been elbowing its way into youth sports for a long time. Nostalgic youth sport memes have disappeared. You know the ones: Gritty sandlot players face inspirational challenges while engaging in idyllic summer hijinks, or where sports serve as a metaphor for resolving random social dilemmas. While these memes can still be found on YouTube, they are becoming increasingly rare in real life. They've been replaced by an urgency for training, specialization, commitment, equipment, and travel.

Swimming practices now blanket the entire week. Youngsters attend two workouts on some days, coaches demand 'commitments', and parents fret over whether they will be able to afford the suit their child ‘needs’ for the next competition.

Families with children in youth sport programs have a lifestyle different from families who don't. The commitment coaches expect from athletes extends to the entire family when sport schedules change vacations, and equipment and travel force adjustments in the family budget.

Athlete registration in USA Swimming is shrinking. While there may be many reasons for this, one has to be that families who want a more normal lifestyle are deciding that the commitments, cost, and singular focus required in the sport are not for them. They're either not participating at all, or choosing other sports. But it's not easy. The pressure to accept that the sport is the raison d'etre of life is strong. And each year more families start feeling out of sync with the youth sport culture.

Other sports have the same problems. But seasonal sports have built in relief valves. Swimming and a few others do not.

Coaches and sport administrators are at the forefront of recognizing threats to the sport’s well-being, but achieving consensus on necessary changes takes time. The 4-hour rule and the tech suit ban in swimming are responses to evolving social expectations.

The 4-hour rule and the expanding swim schedule

The 4-hour rule was adopted during the 1990s. Its focus is to keep competitions for younger athletes to a reasonable length, thus making the sport a little more attractive, especially to new families. But it's being undermined by 3- and 4-day competitions, some with pretentious prelim/final formats.

And, as anyone who has been around the sport for more than a few years knows, holidays aren't really holidays anymore. Monday holidays are excuses to plan extravagant travel meets. Training sessions over the Christmas season explode in volume and frequency as teams engage in heroic physical efforts. Some coaches go so far as to claim that missing practices while visiting relatives during this period will ruin the athlete's preparation for a meet that's still two months away.

And what about practices on holidays? Most families don't have anything scheduled for Thanksgiving mornings, Christmas afternoons, or New Year's Days so why not slip in another workout. Or two?

Nobody gets a day off, ever.

Tech suits

On paper the tech suit ban for 12 and under athletes seemed like a no brainer. But our in-group bias interprets it that since you can wear a tech suit at 13 years old, you must wear one then. FOMO prevents many families from making a sensible choice about this. The truth is that most youngsters do not benefit from having a $400 or $500 dollar tech suit. It's a big expense on something that doesn't last long and has limited competitive value. The magic quickly falls away after the first purchase or two, and, yes, you will need more than one.

Prelim/finals out of control?

Prelim/final formats used to be reserved for senior level championships. Now they show up randomly for all age groups throughout the year. They're offered by clubs that believe their meets are gems in a sea of otherwise mundane competitions. But one has to wonder if it's necessary to have young athletes swimming finals at all. How will we be able to keep the sport new for them when they're older?

Also, the number of finals heats is growing. In the early 2000s a 'C' final was added to the sectional meets my team attended. A year or two later a 'D' final was added to the program. How many finals heats are actually enough? As a retired coach I can report that 'A' and 'B' finals are plenty. You can quote me. There's no reason a finals session, given its pomp and showmanship, should take longer than its preliminary heats. And here's a big secret, most athletes don't want to swim the 'C' and 'D' finals anyway.

But would a coach dare to raise the possibility that we might be overdoing it? It's unlikely. Anyone suggesting that there are too many finalists would be shamed into silence by the high-moral-grounders' response, "We're trying to get these kids championship meet experience!" The implication, of course, is that if you don't want to give your athletes championship meet experience with a finals heat for every letter of the alphabet then you must not be a very good coach.

Same but less training philosophy

FOMO is also what drives adult or senior level practices into lower and lower levels of the sport. Morning workouts, strength training, goal sessions, and nutrition planning for children are appearing in clubs all over the United States. Let be frank: Any coach who believes he controls what a 12-year-old eats is taking himself too seriously.

Reeling in excess takes time. The 4-hour rule and the tech suit ban weren't hatched overnight. Swimming will eventually react to social conditions. Right now though FOMO is part of what is shaping the youth sport environment and things are likely to get worse before they get better.